/// omen
SOLITARY
i dont feel belong
nobody misses me
nobody longs for my company
i have everybody around me but
nobody with me
my girlfriends dont
miss me anymore
neither do my guyfriends
i am friends with my boyfriend's friends and
they all only miss him
they tell me how much they enjoy his company
none has ever expressed about my presence
and even if i dont come back home
nobody cares because
i am my boyfriend's girlfriend.
my own friends they
dont miss me
i am too busy struggling to
divide my time in cyber
and going back to see them
but i am always not invited anywhere.
my girlfriends i
used to be close to them
so close i thought i'd have their loyalty
like how i am loyal to them
but after moving in with him everyone started to
hate the fact that i have a new life.
fact is
i never wanted this
i never wanted things to change
but times have changed so i
tried to adapt
everyone had a boyfriend but
i was the only one out
and when i have my own
i am left out already
all because i live so far
but i thought i could make it work
guess its not that easy.
and now
i dont belong anywhere
he doesnt even
mention the word "we"
whenever he plans something
after one year together
he still sees himself as one person
so i am just some... pouch bag
i go back home and
no one is around
i sit in the room and try to sleep but i
just cant seem to do that
i take hours to sleep
so i end up crying all the time alone
so i sit infront of the pc and
start to find stuffs to do
turn on the DVD and watch re-runs over and over
mama only looks for me when she wants to nag and
papa only looks for me when he has something to talk about computers
my sister asks me out so frequently because she's bored or if she doesnt have
anybody to accompany her
hell, lets just say that i
just dont belong anywhere anymore
i have nobody
nobody listens to me anymore
there are no boys interested in me either
i am getting old and i
worry about getting married and
having children
when i dont even have a job yet
and my boyfriend is younger than i am and
i figured that
i probably have some weird purpose in life that
no one can explain
God
why has my life never changed for the better?
what went wrong?
i prayed for good things
i long to be in your Heaven
people made me do stuffs i never wanted to
and they left me
i just dont belong
anywhere.
.